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Update on Complaining and Gratitude
Posted on February 10, 2010 by zoeweil
In my blog post, Ever-growing Expectations and the Roots of Complaint, I wrote this:
“Later this month I’ll be flying to Vancouver, B.C., for work. I’m planning to… reflect upon what I’ve received from the airline, airport, pilots, flight attendants, mechanics, and all the personnel and inventors and engineers who will have made my flights possible. If something goes wrong and I miss one of my two connecting flights or wind up spending hours in an airport due to inclement weather or experience some other hassle, I hope that I will be able to maintain my resolve not to complain and instead find ways to still marvel, be grateful, and give something back.”
Well, I wanted to write a post about how I did.
First, it wasn’t very hard to keep this commitment, initially, because despite the fact that I left Maine in a snowstorm, every flight ran on time, and I even had a whole row to myself between New York and Salt Lake City. I tried to contain my inner complainer a bit when the woman in the seat on the other side of the aisle was coughing the whole time, but since I was able to move to the window and create some distance I did fine keeping the complainer at bay. (I would add, though, that now I have a cough myself and need to fly to New York City on Friday, where I will likely annoy someone else if I’m still coughing — I promise to keep a lozenge in my mouth the entire time if necessary!)
The flights back home were equally uneventful. I was grateful. Especially in the Detroit Airport, which has the coolest light and music show that accompanies the moving walkway between Gates A and C and which always makes me smile.
I arrived in Bangor at 1 a.m. After digging out my car, I began my 45-minute drive home in freezing rain. The roads were bad, but not horribly so, so I went slowly and expected the drive would just take longer than usual. But by the time I reached the town of Dedham, the road had become a sheet of ice.
Before I go on, I should say that this particular stretch of road between Dedham and Ellsworth comes with bad memories. On our trip to the area to find a place to live shortly before we moved here, I ran out of gas on this stretch of road. On another late night drive home from the airport, my car lights failed, which was quite harrowing. A friend’s son says that this section of road is haunted, and even though I wouldn’t go that far, it’s a hilly, dark, and lonesome road through the mountains at night. And I should also say that shortly after moving to Maine, I skidded off a road (not this one) on black ice and over a 10 foot embankment, totaling my car, and so I’m particularly scared of icy roads.
I came to the one light on the stretch of road where there’s a gas station. I considered holing up in my car until morning rather than trying to go further, but the thought of such a cold night in the car without appropriate clothing chilled me, literally. So I climbed the hill past the gas station and realized my car was having trouble gaining any traction on the ice. At the crest of the hill was the Dedham School. I pulled in to call my husband. He offered to come get me, thinking I was probably overreacting because of my history on icy roads, but I told him no in no uncertain terms!
My hope lay ahead one more mile. At the very top of a bigger hill, nestled in the mountains and overlooking a beautiful Maine lake, lay the Lucerne Inn. I had no idea if they were open, and I knew I could go no further after that because the road precipitously descends beyond the inn, but I decided it was worth it to try to make it there.
I did!
I almost wiped out as I got out of the car because the parking lot was a sheet of ice as well (of course it was!), but I caught myself. Then I was provided with a warm room with a comfy bed. I was so profoundly grateful. Grateful the inn was open and that someone heard me knock at 1:45 in the morning. Grateful I could afford a night’s stay at a lovely inn. Grateful that Ihadn’t had to spend a cold night sitting in my car waiting for the roads to be safe.
So, I guess one could say that I succeeded in my goal not to complain when something went awry on the trip.
Zoe Weil
Author of Most Good, Least Harm
Image courtesy of Morten Rand-Hendriksen via Creative Commons.
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Filed under: MOGO (Most Good), gratitude | Tagged: attitude, complaining, expectations, gratitude, intentions, MOGO choices, storms, travel, weather | Leave a Comment »
I’m a Delegate From Surry, Maine
Posted on February 8, 2010 by zoeweil
In my book, Most Good, Least Harm, I have a chapter on “Activism, Volunteerism, and Democracy.” My contention is that in order to create a more sustainable, peaceful, and humane world, we not only need to make personal choices that do the most good and the least harm and choose work and careers that contribute to more restorative systems, but we also need to participate fully as changemakers and that means being active, of service, and a full participant within our democratic systems.
I’ve been an activist for half of my life and a volunteer in many capacities since college, most significantly in my full-time, unpaid role as the president of the Institute for Humane Education, but my participation in our democratic system has been meager. True, I can’t remember having ever missed an election, but voting once a year is hardly full participation in democracy.
So last Sunday, I headed to my town municipal building for our caucus, committed to be a more active member of my community and more politically involved. I was under the mistaken impression that we’d be caucusing to determine our gubernatorial candidate. I spent the morning reading all the websites of our candidates and contacted a friend who worked with one of them to get his opinion, so I felt reasonably prepared. But it turns out we have a primary for that (that’s how uninformed I was), and this was not the purpose of our caucus. There were fewer than 25 of us there (in a town of 1,500). I quickly found out why. The purpose of the caucus was to introduce some local candidates to the community, sign some petitions so that candidates could run for office, and elect people for various civic roles. With so few people in the room, it was hard not to wind up with a role.
I was asked to serve as a delegate at the Maine Democratic Convention in May. I hemmed and hawed. I talked about my busy travel schedule and my uncertainty about whether I’d be able to attend. I asked what I would do as someone who might in fact be supporting the Green candidate rather than the democratic candidate (I’m a registered Democrat in order to participate in caucuses and primaries, but I’m really a philosophical Green Independent). I was offered many reassurances. I said yes.
So here I am, finally practicing this piece of what I’ve preached and trying my hand at the political process with more commitment than an annual vote. Wish me luck!
Zoe Weil
Author of Most Good, Least Harm and Above All, Be Kind
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Filed under: MOGO (Most Good), changemakers, citizen activism, community service, politics, systemic change | Tagged: changemakers, citizen activism, democracy, Maine, politics, systemic change, volunteering | Leave a Comment »
There’s Poop in My Refrigerator!
Posted on February 3, 2010 by zoeweil
Our dog, Ruby, has been having intestinal problems, and my husband, a veterinarian, has been trying to ascertain what may be wrong with her. He has altered her diet, taken x-rays, dewormed her, visited a specialist, done an ultrasound on her belly, and now he’s sending off a stool sample to find out if there’s occult blood in it. This past weekend he gathered the sample, triple bagged it, put it in a box, and then placed the box in our refrigerator (since it must remain refrigerated until it can be overnighted to the lab). The box lies next to the soy milk.
I am completely grossed out that there’s poop in our refrigerator. My husband is trying to help me be rational about the whole thing, but I can’t help balking when I open the door and see the box. And the soy milk container (aseptic) seems entirely too close to the box. So, here’s the thing: while my husband is right that it’s irrational to worry about contamination from a triple-bagged and boxed bit of dog doo in my refrigerator, it’s not at all irrational to be disgusted by poop. We evolved to feel disgust at certain things, because such disgust lent evolutionary advantages. If you weren’t disgusted by feces you might be more likely to be exposed to organisms that could harm you.
And so it goes with lots of things that are generally evolutionarily beneficial but specifically irrational, as we try to create a sustainable, peaceful world. For example, we may have evolved to fear strangers and those who are “outside” our clan or tribe, but in today’s world, it is morally reprehensible to turn inner fears of difference into policy. And although we have come a long way toward repealing prejudicial laws in many parts of the world, bigotry is still pervasive, and genocide still happens on every continent (except Antarctica, which has no native human population). Our fear of others in the U.S. leads us to spend the lion’s share of our federal dollars on defense, even though we might protect our citizens to a far greater degree by spending more on education, preventive health care, and clean energy, water, land, and air. Is our focus on military spending rational? Many would argue it is, but I believe that the degree to which we fund our military has become an irrational response to a rational concern.
Teasing apart feelings, tendencies, and behaviors that stem from our evolutionary history from misguided, irrational, and unhealthy and unsustainable choices within society is quite challenging, but in order to create peaceful and wise social systems that serve 6.5 billion people on a planet that must sustain countless species and biological systems we must be very committed and work diligently at this important task. Our fears and reactivity, which have evolved over nearly 1 million years, need to be acknowledged for the inherent safety they often preserve, while still being questioned to ensure that they are valid, rational, and ultimately healthful. Often they are not.
I always come back to the question: “What does the most good and the least harm?” If we bring this question, broadly and comprehensively, into political, economic, health, food, defense, transportation, energy, educational, and other arenas, we may find that we are able to side-step myopic responses because we are not letting fears and reactivity determine our future course.
Now, here’s my multiple choice question for you. Consider it a test of your rational mind overcoming your irrational fears:
Knowing that there is dog poop in my refrigerator are you:
a. Disgusted, like I am, but able to acknowledge that there is minimal potential for harm.
b. Disgusted, convinced that this is highly unhygienic, and certain you would never accept an invitation to my house for dinner.
c. Not disgusted and curious why I’d bother to blog about this at all.
d. None of the above and feeling this way:___________________________________.
I welcome your responses!
Zoe Weil
Author of Most Good, Least Harm
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Filed under: Cultural Issues, MOGO (Most Good), critical thinking, systemic change, third side thinking | Tagged: evolution, fears, irrational choices, MOGO choices, rationalizations, social psychology, systemic change, third side thinking, values | Leave a Comment »
Competition for the Good #2: As Seattle Goes, So Goes the U.S.?
Posted on February 1, 2010 by zoeweil
I’m in Seattle as I write this blog post, marveling at the fact that in this city virtually everything is recycled and people can even put out their compost – including anything biodegradable – on the street to be picked up. If Seattle can do this, why can’t every city across the U.S.? Why are there so few cities and states in the U.S. that even attempt this sort of environmental action? But even as Seattle (and other west coast cities) lead the way here, the U.S. as a country lags far behind on the world stage where several nations — notably Iceland, Costa Rica, Norway and New Zealand — are competing to be the first to go carbon neutral.
I confess that I’m quite competitive – raised as I was in Manhattan and competing every day of my childhood for good grades, a good seat at a movie theater, or on my school’s gymnastics team – and I know I come from a competitive country (note those debate teams mentioned in my last blog post), so I’m struck by the lack of competitive spirit in the U.S. right now to lead the way on environmental restoration, sustainable energy, innovative education for a better future, and carbon neutrality. In our most competitive cities – New York and Washington, DC come to mind – we see little effort and leadership in these arenas.
It’s exciting to see what’s happening in Seattle. I’m ready to follow in your footsteps. Can we get the east coast on board? New Yorkers, Bostonians, Philadelphians , please write your representatives and senators. Let’s join the competition, if it helps to think in this way, and race to a healthy future.
Ready, set…. GO!
Zoe Weil
Author of Most Good, Least Harm
Image courtesy of sergis_blog via Creative Commons.
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Filed under: Cultural Issues, MOGO (Most Good), citizen activism, education, energy policy, systemic change | Tagged: carbon footprint, carbon neutral, cities, competition, educational reform, environmental protection, global warming, recycling, Sustainability, systemic change | Leave a Comment »
Competition for the Good #1: Debate Teams in British Columbia
Posted on January 29, 2010 by zoeweil
I’ve just spent a week traveling to British Columbia and Seattle to offer humane education and MOGO (Most Good) workshops. In BC, I first gave a talk at the Vancouver Public Library, and I brought up my idea for solutionary teams in schools to exist alongside debate teams. (I’ve written about this idea in a previous blog post. I was surprised when one of the attendees said that in BC it’s uncommon to have debate clubs or teams at school.
The next day I was leading several workshops at a teachers’ conference, and as part of my keynote talk, I had planned to discuss this idea of solutionary teams in contrast to debate teams, but because I had been prepped by the comment the night before, I wanted to know from the audience if it was true that in British Columbia debate teams were uncommon. Did their schools have debate teams, I asked. They shook their heads. Well, do you have solutionary teams? Still no. So, I encouraged these Canadian teachers to lead the way on solutionary teams, and perhaps we in the U.S. will follow. That is, unless some teachers and school administrators who read this blog want to get them going in their schools!
~ Zoe Weil
Author of Most Good, Least Harm
Image courtesy of Lulu_Vision via Creative Commons.
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Filed under: Zoe Weil appearances, education, humane education, youth activism | Tagged: Canada, critical thinking, debates, educational reform, either/or, global issues, humane education, solutionaries, teachers, third side thinking | Leave a Comment »
MOGO is for Pessimists, Too
Posted on January 27, 2010 by zoeweil
Here’s another excerpt from my book, Most Good, Least Harm: A Simple Principle for a Better World and Meaningful Life, that I wanted to share with you.
“Some may be pessimistic that MOGO (most good) living can truly change intractable problems and create a peaceful, humane, and healthy world. Yet the MOGO principle is not just for the optimistic. Walking the MOGO path is joyful and meaningful in and of itself, and inevitably restores our hope as we, and others who share our vision, persevere and create healthier lives and a healthier world. As former Czech Republic president, Vaclav Havel, has written: ‘I feel a responsibility to work toward the things I consider good and right. I don’t know whether I’ll be able to change certain things for the better, or not at all. Both outcomes are possible. There is only one thing I will not concede: that it might be meaningless to strive in a good cause.’”
~ Zoe Weil, author of Most Good, Least Harm
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Filed under: MOGO (Most Good), changemakers, responsibility | Tagged: change the world, changemakers, integrity, MOGO principle, pessimism, responsibility | Leave a Comment »
Most Good, Least Harm
Posted on January 25, 2010 by zoeweil
For the next few blog posts I’m going to share excerpts from my book, Most Good, Least Harm: A Simple Principle for a Better World and Meaningful Life.
My book, Most Good, Least Harm, “is based on a very simple premise: when we do the most good and the least harm through our daily choices, our acts of citizenship, our communities, our work, our volunteerism, and our interactions, we create inner and outer peace. I call this way of living ‘MOGO,’ short for ‘most good,’ and it has become the guiding principle of my life.
The MOGO principle is simple in theory, but it asks much of us. It requires a willingness to learn new information so that we might continually reexamine our lives with the greatest good in mind and commit to conscious and deliberate choice-making for the benefit of all. Doing so calls upon us to live with integrity, courage, wisdom, perseverance, and compassion. While at first glance this might seem quite challenging, embracing the MOGO principle is deeply rewarding. It puts us on a lifelong journey that helps us realize peace within ourselves as well as create a peaceful world.
I realize it can be very hard to imagine a peaceful world given the state of things: the horror of war, poverty, genocide, and human oppressions; the escalating degradation of the ecosystems on which all life depends; and the terrible cruelty that is perpetrated institutionally on animals. Yet we humans have faced seemingly insurmountable problems in the past, and we’ve triumphed many times. Apartheid in South Africa was eliminated. Mahatma Gandhi showed us that nonviolent resistance can topple an empire; and women gained the right to vote in democracies across the globe. Many people could not have imagined the end to many injustices prior to their demise. And, although humanity’s cruelties and failures persist, our positive achievements are enormous and unstoppable. These positive achievements have happened because individuals like you have chosen to make a difference.”
Zoe Weil, from Most Good, Least Harm
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Filed under: Inner Peace, MOGO (Most Good), books, integrity, systemic change, values | Tagged: animal protection, better world, books, environmental protection, human rights, Inner Peace, MOGO principle, peace, principles, social justice, systemic change, values, zoe weil | Leave a Comment »
The New Golden Rule
Posted on January 22, 2010 by zoeweil
For the next few blog posts I’m going to share excerpts from my book, Most Good, Least Harm: A Simple Principle for a Better World and Meaningful Life.
“We’re all aware of the Golden Rule to ‘do unto others as we would have them do unto us.’ Whether phrased in the positive or negative (don’t do unto others what wewouldn’t want done unto us), this ‘rule’ is integral to every major religion and has been prescribed by philosophers over millennia …. But now our complex world requires a new Golden Rule, one that enables us to put into practice the original Golden Rule universally. In a world in which our clothes, food, transportation, fuel, products, and homes come to us through a web of connections that extend around the planet, we need a principle to guide us so that we actually can do to others, no matter how geographically distant, as we would have them do to us, and refrain from doing to others that which is abhorrent to us. Most good, least harm (MOGO) is that principle. MOGO calls upon us to raise our awareness and connect the dots between ourselves and others whom our life impacts so that we can make sure that we are not being abusive or oppressive, and instead are increasing joy, health, and equality for everyone.”
Zoe Weil, author of Most Good, Least Harm
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Filed under: MOGO (Most Good), integrity, third side thinking | Tagged: books, golden rule, MOGO principle, philosophy, religion, values, zoe weil | Leave a Comment »
The Important Message in Stephen King’s Under the Dome
Posted on January 20, 2010 by zoeweil
I just finished reading Stephen King’s new book, Under the Dome. The book is about what happens to a small town in Maine when a dome descends around their town, blocking their access to the outside world. (Note: If you want to read the book, you may want to skip this blog post because I’m going to reveal the source of the dome.) There are lots of important themes in the book, not least of which is the power accorded to the selectman who takes an evil, manipulative, Hitler-like role and creates a gang of followers who destroy the town through ignorance, greed, stupidity, and power addiction. A revisit of Lord of the Flies, adult-style.
But the theme that interested me most was the revelation that the dome was created by alien children as a game — one that is compared throughout the book to those cruel games human children play on animals, such as burning ants by directing the sun’s rays at them through a magnifying glass.
In Under the Dome, we are the ants, but all the alien children had to do was create the conditions for fear and panic. We humans did the rest, destroying ourselves and responding to fear and danger with a conflagration. Not all humans, though, and this is the hope. We can overcome our penchant for indifference and curiosity that turns into cruelty. And we can raise our children to respect all others, including ants, and to refuse to indulge the impulses that would have us treat anyone – even the smallest of living beings – as anything less than worthy of reverence and kindness.
Zoe Weil
Author of Above All, Be Kind: Raising a Humane Child in Challenging Times and Most Good, Least Harm
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Filed under: Cultural Issues, MOGO (Most Good), animal protection, books, compassion, integrity | Tagged: animals, books, cruelty, evil, fear, integrity, Kindness, Maine, power, respect, Stephen King, themes, values | Leave a Comment »
