I watched John Edwards confess his extramarital affair on Nightline and found myself pondering his repeated reference to this affair as a “mistake.”

Mistake?

A mistake is when you put a comma in the wrong place, or do an algebra problem and add two numbers wrong, or when you call a hawkweed flower a dandelion.

Choosing to have a secret, unsanctioned-by-your-spouse, extramarital affair when your wife is battling cancer, and you’ve been preaching morality publicly for a decade is not a mistake. And lying about your behavior repeatedly is not a mistake either. These are ethical failures.

We’re all guilty of ethical failures. It’s not easy to be consistently honest, compassionate, responsible, generous, courageous, and kind. Living with integrity may be our goal, but our fears, greed, selfishness, and desires often compete with what we know to be MOGO.

It’s important, and it’s MOGO, to call our failure to live up to our values by its true name. Dishonesty, duplicity, and hypocrisy aren’t mistakes; they’re examples of deep ethical battles that we’ve lost and that we can only correct with awareness and a renewed commitment to be honest with ourselves. By naming the great challenge of living a MOGO life with candor, we enable ourselves to accept our failures as we enthusiastically and continually recommit to our deepest values.

~ Zoe