The Power and Promise of Humane Education
Above All, Be Kind: Raising a Humane Child in Challenging Times
Claude and Medea: The Hellburn Dogs
So, You Love Animals: An Action-Packed, Fun-Filled Book to Help Kids Help Animals
What’s the difference between niceness and kindness?
To me, niceness is pleasant but a bit anemic, lacking depth and character. It’s not something to strive for or cultivate in any powerful way, unlike kindness, which is worthy of our full attention and the dedication of our lives.
Being kind is a daily practice, not a static quality like niceness can be. While the nice person may avoid a conflict and not tell a hard truth, someone who is kind will search for the right words to share what may not be pleasant, but which may be helpful and loving.
I recently finished the novel, Olive Kittredge (which I highly recommend). Olive is definitely not nice. But sometimes she is profoundly kind. In one chapter, Olive meets a young anorexic woman, and her eyes brim with tears as she speaks truth to this young woman and ensures her care by calling her mother and helping her get treatment. Others had simply been nice to her.
Kindness differs from niceness in another way as well. Niceness is generally perceived as a proximal quality. We are nice to others with whom we come in contact. Kindness is both proximal and expansive. To be truly kind, we must make choices in our lives that do the most good and least harm to all those our decisions affect, no matter how scattered across the globe. This includes making decisions about our work, activism, and participation in democracy — as well as our lifestyle and dietary choices — with the good of all in mind. In an interconnected world, making such decisions requires daily attention. Being kind not only means helping a friend in need, but also supporting a stranger across the ocean whose life may be affected by your product choices, and bringing our talents to bear on solving systemic problems that perpetuate harm and destruction. Nice people don’t necessarily take all these factors into consideration. Kind people do.
Nice people are common, which is… nice. Truly kind people are relatively rare, largely because it takes such commitment, knowledge, and skill to be deeply, consistently kind. Kindness is hard work, but I’ve come to believe it’s the most important work of all. Will our children be successful? Do well at school? Will we get that coveted position and raise? Will we be able to take that desired vacation? We want these things so much, and we strive for them. Would that we would strive so diligently for kindness! Would that every parent would want their children to be kind above all else. Instead of telling our children to be nice, we need to give them the knowledge, tools, and motivation to be genuinely, persistently kind.
~ Zoe Weil
Author of Most Good, Least Harm, Above All, Be Kind, and Claude and Medea
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Filed under: Inner Peace, MOGO (Most Good), positive choices, values | Tagged: kindess, MOGO choices, niceness, qualities, systemic change, values | Comments Off
In January 1998 a young German Shepherd was brought by the police into the clinic where my husband works as a veterinarian. She was a stray with severe nerve damage in her right rear leg, likely the result of having been hit by a car. After two weeks, during which no one claimed her, she needed a home – ours. When our then five-year-old son saw her, he was initially a little frightened by her. She was big, ungainly on her injured leg and a wee bit ferocious-looking. But Sophie, as we named her, was anything but ferocious. She was a gentle girl.
Here’s the answer to last post’s last riddle:
Here’s the answer to last post’s riddle:
Get in touch with your deepest values and learn to help transform the world — use the exploration of inquiry, introspection and integrity to gain inner and outer peace: register now for the Institute for Humane Education’s 
Many are suffering this holiday season. Millions have lost their jobs and are struggling with the basics. They cannot even buy their children a winter coat or mittens, let alone a new toy. During this holiday season, consider how you might be of service to those in your community who are facing serious hardship, and make a commitment to give. You might give in the form of volunteering for a local non-profit, helping out at the local homeless shelter, bringing baked treats to people in a nursing home or hospital, shoveling an elderly neighbor’s drive when it snows. You might also want to connect with churches and synagogues that organize gift-giving to people who cannot afford presents for their kids.
Consider writing heartfelt letters to those on your list of gift recipients to share what you love and appreciate about them. Before you abandon this idea too quickly as too mushy or overly intimate, remember that such letters can recount stories about the person that made you laugh, gave you solace, helped you learn something. Being seen and appreciated is an extraordinary gift, and taking the time to share memories and gratitude is great for both you and the receiver.
IHE offers online courses for educators, activists, parents & concerned citizens seeking the tools, knowledge & motivation to align their actions with their deepest values & to become more effective leaders and changemakers. Sign up now for an upcoming session. 
