“Forgiveness is not an occasional act; it is a permanent attitude.”
~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

“Forgiveness and reconciliation are not just ethereal, spiritual, otherworldly activities…. They are realpolitik, because in a very real sense, without forgiveness, there is no future.”
~ Desmond Tutu

“What we forgive too freely doesn’t stay forgiven.”
~ Mignon McLaughlin

I read these quotes in the August 2010 issue of The Sun magazine, and I find myself puzzling over them: three quotes about forgiveness, each with its own message, its own truth. For me, forgiveness is all of these quotes and none of them. Often I think I’ve forgiven only to taste the bitter seeds still lurking in the crevices of my teeth. I may have thought I’d spit them out, but like so many popcorn hulls, they’ve lurked another day. Maybe Mignon captures my failure; perhaps I’d forgiven too freely rather than dredged all the nasty rage and pain and fought my way toward a deep and abiding forgiveness that took work to achieve. But am I ever truly, completely done with resentment? For me, forgiveness has usually been a slow process, neither an act, nor a permanent attitude. One day, I may realize I believe I have forgiven. But the next that realization of forgiveness may be gone and my bitterness returned, albeit diminished.

I appreciate Desmond Tutu’s perspective that forgiveness may be better perceived as a pragmatic choice than an ethical perspective. If forgiveness has less to do with internal feelings and more to do with a practical decision to ensure a healthy future, we might more easily create such a future. But I also yearn for the spiritual component of forgiveness; the peace that comes with letting go of anger and resentment; the freedom that comes when I do not carry such a burden that harms no one more than me.

What are your thoughts on forgiveness? Do any of these quotes speak more strongly to you than the others?

Zoe Weil
Author of Most Good, Least Harm

Image courtesy of Kulturang Ewan via Creative Commons.

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Filed under: Inner Peace, MOGO (Most Good) Tagged: | forgiveness, freedom, mindfulness, MOGO choices, resentment