Joy in Observation & the Right Attitude

A foot of powdery snow fell on a recent Friday, so early the next morning I put my x-country skis in my car and drove 20 miles to Mount Desert Island to ski on the carriage roads in Acadia National Park. I noticed that the thick snow-covered trees at home gave way to sparkling, ice-covered branches on the island, but it was so beautiful I didn’t pause to think what this might mean for the trails.

When I began the 14-mile loop around several mountains, the snow was not nearly as deep as at home and had a thick layer of crunchy ice, with a bit of powder on top. The ice wasn’t thick enough to ski atop, rather each glide ended with a thump as my weight (all 96 pounds of it) caused the crust to break. It was a slog, but I suspected that the volunteer trail groomer would be out soon. Or some other skiers coming from the other direction would have broken some trail, too. I plowed on.

Despite the hard work, it was breathtaking. The evergreens were weighed down with thick, crusty snow and the tips of the needles shone with teardrop-shaped icicles. The deciduous trees were sparkling in the sunlight, all lit up by a coating of ice. I followed a coyote’s tracks for a couple of miles and then a fox track, which converged with the coyote’s. There were rabbit tracks, mouse tracks, and squirrel tracks, too, all made within a few hours. Perhaps some of these animals were watching me. I was so noisy with my skis and poles crunching the ice that they certainly could hear me coming, but perhaps they observed me, as I observed their tracks. For about 1/4 mile, I skied alongside a human’s footprints accompanied by a dog. It was interesting to compare the dog prints to the coyote and fox prints, the wild canines’ so different from their domesticated cousin’s.

Then I noticed another kind of print in the snow, random and patternless. It took me a little while to figure out where they came from. They were leaf prints from the oak and beech leaves that had been clinging to the trees since last fall, finally released by the stormy winds, skittering on the snow before coming to rest in little drifts.

I felt good about all this noticing; it brought a kind of joy, this simple observation of what was around me.

Then I reached the fork where I expected to see others’ tracks. Alas there were none, and the trail groomer hadn’t yet made it this far, either. I faced a long and arduous uphill. I began the climb enthusiastically, but by the time I reached the top and the next fork and there were still no tracks or groomed trails, my spirits sank. By now the sky was overcast. I was only at the halfway point and this side of the mountain had borne the brunt of the storm. Whereas the other side had a thin layer of powder atop the crunchy stuff, here it was mostly ice. Each glide resulted in shards cracking and a deep, unpleasant, body-jarring thump. And I still had another slow uphill before I’d reach a point where I might have a downhill respite. When I did finally reach that point, going down was hardly easier, as my skis got stuck in the ice, tripping me up. I finally paused for a snack and something to drink, and the first and only live animal I was to see, a woodpecker, flew next to me and pecked away at a birch while I sipped my tea. I was so appreciative of that bird. The woodpecker, along with gorgeous blue-green ice overhanging the cliffs beside me, renewed my spirits.

The slog resumed. My spirits declined more quickly this time, especially when I reached the next fork and the next big uphill stretch and it, too, had seen neither skier nor groomer. Finally, I ran into two good friends coming my way who listened to my grumpy complaints about being tired (I’d now been skiing 4 hours and had broken 10 miles of trail) and then turned around so that we skied together. I thought of how my mood had changed, from joyful appreciation of the tremendous beauty; from rapt attention to every detail, to exhaustion, frustration and moodiness. That in itself was a lesson. I could have continued to observe carefully. I could have recognized the blessings surrounding me, rather than bemoaning the lack of groomed trails and the unexpected icy conditions. I could have stopped wishing that I’d taken a different route, or that I’d gone skiing closer to home where the snow was snow, not ice, instead of focusing on the “what ifs.” My friends were just what I needed though: ears to listen to a few minutes of complaints, so that I could put my grumpiness aside and revel in the now groomed trail I was delighted to ski upon.

Joy in observation; changing moods; kind listeners. Attitude may not be everything, but it counts for a lot.

Zoe Weil, President, Institute for Humane Education
Author of Most Good, Least Harm
My TEDx talk: “The World Becomes What You Teach

Image courtesy of Roland Tanglao via Creative Commons.

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The Obama Family in Bar Harbor

In a previous blog post I wrote about spending my birthday hiking 13 miles over 9 peaks in Acadia National Park. What I didn’t mention was that we had heard that the Obamas, scheduled to be in Acadia the weekend of July 16th, had actually come several days earlier and were already in the park. Since we were spending the day climbing most of the mountains in Acadia, we thought there actually might be a chance we’d run into them. We joked all day about it, calling “Barack! Barack! Where are you?” and asking people we met on the trails if they’d seen the Obamas yet.

My husband even made up a riddle that went like this: “Zoe, if you were rock climbing a really hard 5.12a route on Otter Cliffs (at the ocean) and you were at a particularly difficult spot in the climb and Barack Obama happened to sail by just at the moment, what would the person belaying you say?”

The answer was: “Zoe! You’re caught between Barack and a hard place!”

By the end of the day when we were exhausted and hadn’t run into the Obamas, my husband pointed out it was a “Barack O’bummer.”

Ah well. Turned out the Obamas had not come early and were still scheduled to arrive over the weekend.

So then on Friday, July 16, I was heading to the Bar Harbor airport to fly to Washington, DC, where I would be receiving an award inducting me into the Animal Rights Hall of Fame and giving a humane education workshop, and as I approached, the airport traffic was at a standstill. I knew immediately what was happening. The Obamas were arriving! Now, however, I was freaking out because I was not allowed to get into the airport. The police and US Air would give me no information, and I knew I had a connecting flight in Boston to catch. Now the Obamas were cramping my style and I was none too happy about it.

How fickle!

I pulled over and waited as the Obamas were whisked out of the airport and I was finally allowed to enter. I watched Air Force 1 fly off and all proceeded as planned. Thank goodness. So I’m trading locales with the Obamas this weekend. I hope they enjoy their time in beautiful Maine where they’ll probably appreciate the 80 degree weather while I melt in the 97 degrees in DC. Since I made my flight after all, I’m free to feel benevolent about their visit once again.

Cheers,

Zoe Weil
Author of Most Good, Least Harm

Image courtesy of http2007 via Creative Commons.

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New Year’s Resolution to Stop Complaining: Update #3

Believe it or not my inner complainer was in full bloom during a nine-day vacation in Belize. Yes, when I was at my most privileged – getting to snorkel and scuba dive at a remote atoll – I was complaining (and not always to myself!). So much for my New Year’s resolution. And what was my inner complainer harping upon? Mostly the weather (it was cloudy, cold and windy almost every day), but also the food (despite assurances, they did not have any vegetarian entrees, so I had a lot of mashed potatoes and coleslaw). I had one truly justifiable complaint – the owners of the island on which we stayed were nasty to their employees and treated them terribly disrespectfully – but really, the weather?

I think my inner complainer was so alive and active because of how many expectations I had wrapped up in the trip. I envisioned calm seas, sunny days, and warm weather during which I’d snorkel for hours. Normally, I don’t “look forward” to vacations, but this trip to Belize was fraught with hopes and dreams and visions of what it would be like. When my expectations weren’t met, I was disappointed.

This was such an important reminder to stay present, shelve expectations as they pop into my mind, and meet what appears in life with acceptance. My friend Erica, who had joined me on the trip, had such a good attitude. The “bad” weather didn’t bother her a bit. She was happy to knit if the weather was too cold and the seas too rough for snorkeling. I marveled at her lovely and impressive equanimity.

I need to work on my New Year’s resolution more resolutely, and I think that I’ll begin by focusing on what is most good, instead of what is most disappointing. This is a new twist on the MOGO principle that I would do well to cultivate. I think it’s also time to add to my New Year’s resolution not just a negative imperative (stop complaining) but a positive invitation (cultivate gratitude).

Please wish me fortitude and continued perseverance!

By the way, lest you think I was a grumpy complainer the whole trip, please stay tuned for more blog posts on the amazing and wonderful experiences I had in Belize.

Zoe Weil
Author of Most Good, Least Harm, Above All, Be Kind and Claude and Medea

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Update on Complaining and Gratitude

In my blog post, Ever-growing Expectations and the Roots of Complaint, I wrote this:

“Later this month I’ll be flying to Vancouver, B.C., for work. I’m planning to… reflect upon what I’ve received from the airline, airport, pilots, flight attendants, mechanics, and all the personnel and inventors and engineers who will have made my flights possible. If something goes wrong and I miss one of my two connecting flights or wind up spending hours in an airport due to inclement weather or experience some other hassle, I hope that I will be able to maintain my resolve not to complain and instead find ways to still marvel, be grateful, and give something back.”

Well, I wanted to write a post about how I did.

First, it wasn’t very hard to keep this commitment, initially, because despite the fact that I left Maine in a snowstorm, every flight ran on time, and I even had a whole row to myself between New York and Salt Lake City. I tried to contain my inner complainer a bit when the woman in the seat on the other side of the aisle was coughing the whole time, but since I was able to move to the window and create some distance I did fine keeping the complainer at bay. (I would add, though, that now I have a cough myself and need to fly to New York City on Friday, where I will likely annoy someone else if I’m still coughing — I promise to keep a lozenge in my mouth the entire time if necessary!)

The flights back home were equally uneventful. I was grateful. Especially in the Detroit Airport, which has the coolest light and music show that accompanies the moving walkway between Gates A and C and which always makes me smile.

I arrived in Bangor at 1 a.m. After digging out my car, I began my 45-minute drive home in freezing rain. The roads were bad, but not horribly so, so I went slowly and expected the drive would just take longer than usual. But by the time I reached the town of Dedham, the road had become a sheet of ice.

Before I go on, I should say that this particular stretch of road between Dedham and Ellsworth comes with bad memories. On our trip to the area to find a place to live shortly before we moved here, I ran out of gas on this stretch of road. On another late night drive home from the airport, my car lights failed, which was quite harrowing. A friend’s son says that this section of road is haunted, and even though I wouldn’t go that far, it’s a hilly, dark, and lonesome road through the mountains at night. And I should also say that shortly after moving to Maine, I skidded off a road (not this one) on black ice and over a 10 foot embankment, totaling my car, and so I’m particularly scared of icy roads.

I came to the one light on the stretch of road where there’s a gas station. I considered holing up in my car until morning rather than trying to go further, but the thought of such a cold night in the car without appropriate clothing chilled me, literally. So I climbed the hill past the gas station and realized my car was having trouble gaining any traction on the ice. At the crest of the hill was the Dedham School. I pulled in to call my husband. He offered to come get me, thinking I was probably overreacting because of my history on icy roads, but I told him no in no uncertain terms!

My hope lay ahead one more mile. At the very top of a bigger hill, nestled in the mountains and overlooking a beautiful Maine lake, lay the Lucerne Inn. I had no idea if they were open, and I knew I could go no further after that because the road precipitously descends beyond the inn, but I decided it was worth it to try to make it there.

I did!

I almost wiped out as I got out of the car because the parking lot was a sheet of ice as well (of course it was!), but I caught myself. Then I was provided with a warm room with a comfy bed. I was so profoundly grateful. Grateful the inn was open and that someone heard me knock at 1:45 in the morning. Grateful I could afford a night’s stay at a lovely inn. Grateful that Ihadn’t had to spend a cold night sitting in my car waiting for the roads to be safe.

So, I guess one could say that I succeeded in my goal not to complain when something went awry on the trip.

Zoe Weil
Author of Most Good, Least Harm

Image courtesy of Morten Rand-Hendriksen via Creative Commons.

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Ever-growing Expectations and the Roots of Complaint: Reflections on Sy Safransky’s Notebook #3

Reading one of Sy Safransky’s Notebook entries in The Sun magazine this week provided a great explanation for my continued complaining (see my New Year’s day post: Stop Complaining) and provided some clarity for why it’s so hard to break this habit. Sy writes:

“In the nineteenth century it took six months to cross the country by covered wagon. At the start of the twentieth century it took six days to make the trip by train. Yesterday I flew from North Carolina to California in a little more than six hours. The engineering marvel of a modern jetliner borders on the miraculous, yet how mundane flying has become. There I was, soaring through the air at hundreds of miles an hour, fulfilling one of humanity’s age-old dreams, and all I could think about was how little legroom I had and when the couple behind me was going to shut up.” (The Sun, January 2010)

When something becomes mundane we take it for granted. When we take something for granted we cease to think about it, and when we cease to think about it, we fail to cultivate our gratitude for it. We notice when things go awry, not when they go as planned. For example, most of us in the U.S. and other industrialized countries never have to think about obtaining water. Each day we drink from our taps, take showers and bathe in hot water that flows from our spigots and showerheads , and flush our wastes away in clean water. Imagine that. Not only do we fail to appreciate this incredible gift, we also fail to see its shadow (coal-fired power, sewage systems that pump our wastes into the environment, and so on). We only seem to notice if the water stops coming.

I remember the story of Boris Yelstin’s eyes filling with tears when he experienced a U.S. supermarket. But those tears will inevitably dry up in his or anyone’s eyes as soon as aisles of relatively inexpensive and abundant food (however unhealthy, overpackaged , and processed) become the norm. Our expectations just grow, and our ease in finding fault and vectors for new complaint just expand.

I wish I knew the solution to this beyond a committed practice of gratitude. I’ve written about Naikan, a Japanese form of self-reflection, in previous blog posts. As a reminder, Naikan revolves around three questions (you fill in the blank):

1. What have I received from ________________?
2. What have I given _______________?
3. What trouble or difficulty have I caused _______________?

Later this month I’ll be flying to Vancouver, B.C., for work (see my speaking schedule). I’m planning to practice Naikan on the plane and reflect upon what I’ve received from the airline, airport, pilots, flight attendants, mechanics, and all the personnel and inventors and engineers who will have made my flights possible. If something goes wrong and I miss one of my two connecting flights or wind up spending hours in an airport due to inclement weather or experience some other hassle, I hope that I will be able to maintain my resolve not to complain and instead find ways to still marvel, be grateful, and give something back.

Zoe Weil
Author of Most Good, Least Harm and Above All, Be Kind

Image courtesy of Genkaku.

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Save and Savor: Reflections on Sy Safransky’s Notebook #1

I was reading Sy Safransky’s Notebook in The Sun magazine this morning. I love this page of my favorite magazine, in which the editor, Sy Safransky, shares short thoughts through individual paragraphs about a range of ideas and experiences. Sy’s writing is always thought-provoking and often moving, and today’s page was so much so that three of his paragraphs will serve as the topics for this week’s blog posts.

Sy wrote this:

As we lay in bed this morning, Norma asked what I was going to do today. “Save the world,” I replied in a deadpan voice. “Did you say ‘save,’” she asked, or ‘savor’?” I laughed. “Try savor,” she said.” (The Sun, January 2010)

This got me thinking. My work is of the “save the world” sort. It’s not as if I have so much hubris as to think that I am going to be instrumental in “saving the world” (and I’m not sure what that means anyway), but I do believe that I have a responsibility to use my skills and knowledge toward creating a more humane, sustainable, and peaceful world as far as I can. And sometimes the weight of this responsibility is heavy, and I feel guilty if I don’t put in what I consider the right amount of “save the world” hours. The truth is, though, that I relish savoring the world, and I do so regularly. I snowshoed this blizzardy morning up our small mountain and savored the incredible beauty of the carpet of fluffy, star-like, sparkling snow thickly coating even the tiniest of branches and turning the evergreens into a Dr. Seuss book.

But often I feel like my life is divided between savoring and saving, and I strive for a balance I can live with.

After my hike this morning I returned home and logged onto the MOGO Online Commons on this first day of our month-long MOGO Online course at the Institute for Humane Education. Today’s exercise for the course comes from my book, Most Good, Least Harm. Participants imagine and then share what they would say to a child who comes up to them on a park bench at the end of their long life and asks what they did to help create the better, safer, healthier, more peaceful, and restored world that the child now lives in (and that the exercise presupposes will come about).

One participant, Kathy Hally, a friend of mine and a local elementary school teacher, wrote this:

“What I would want to be able to say to this child on the park bench:

“My role in helping to change history was easy and enjoyable. It was painless to give my time to animals left in shelters who had been abandoned and/or abused and were lonely and scared. It was easy and fun to pat a cat or throw a ball for a dog and take them for a walk in the woods. It was comforting to have a lonely pet lean up against me and show me how much they liked a little friendship and affection.

“It was satisfying to find ways to spend my money on food that wasn’t sprayed with chemicals or mistreated with cruelty and/or shot up with awful antibiotics and other chemicals. It was painless to buy things I knew were not being made by children your own age in sweat shops and/or other inappropriate child labor means.

“It was interesting to find ways to decrease the amount of pollution I created by knowing how and where things were made all over the world and the impact they had on local people and the globe. It made me appreciate and care about nature more and more.

“It was painless and enjoyable to grow my own organic vegetables to eat and share with friends and family.

“It was fun. Try it.”

I immediately thought how wonderful it was to read a response that was about simultaneously saving and savoring. No distinction. No need to “find balance.” No separation. No either/or. No “now” and “later.”

I know I, like Sy, will continue to distinguish between “saving” days and “savoring” days, but how comforting it was to read Kathy’s response and realize that a shift in attitude, attention, and awareness can meld these two into one.

~ Zoe Weil

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