Giftivism: A Path Toward Generosity and Generativity

For my blog post today, I simply want to share this wonderful TEDx talk, Designing for Generosity. If, after you’ve watched it, you find yourself giving in a new or different way, please let me know what happens.

~ Zoe

Zoe Weil, President, Institute for Humane Education
Author of Most Good, Least Harm, Above All, Be Kind, and The Power and Promise of Humane Education
My TEDxConejo talk: “Solutionaries”
My TEDxDirigo talk: “The World Becomes What You Teach

Get tickets to the October 13 NYC performance of my 1-woman show: “My Ongoing Problems with Kindness: Confessions of MOGO Girl.”

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Politicians’ Failures of Generosity

Image courtesy of Newton Free Library
via Creative Commons.

For my blog post today, I’m sharing a recent post I wrote for Common Dreams, a progressive news site. Here’s an excerpt from “Politicians’ Failures of Generosity”:

“It’s intriguing to me that wealthy politicians, even knowing that the public will scrutinize their charitable contributions, are so strangely stingy. At a time when so many are hurting, it would be so simple to be generous, even for the most self-serving of reasons. Given the rhetoric around “class warfare” and “envy” on the one hand and “sharing the burden” and “fairness” on the other, it’s almost bizarre that these high net worth politicians give so little proportional to their income.

When I was in college, I learned that observant Jews are taught to give 10% of their income to charity—not to their synagogue but directly to those in need. It doesn’t matter if you are a working class Jew or a wealthy Jew, the 10% applies to you, assuming you are not destitute. There is much commentary about what constitutes legitimate charity in Jewish law, primarily focused on ensuring that gifts are well thought out to maximize their benefits. A hallmark is anonymous giving and giving in such a way that the recipients become self-sufficient and prosperous.”

Read the complete essay.

For a generous world,

Zoe Weil, President, Institute for Humane Education
Author of Most Good, Least Harm, Above All, Be Kind, and The Power and Promise of Humane Education
My TEDx talk: “The World Becomes What You Teach

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3 Tips for Helping Raise Kids to Serve

Image courtesy of Alameda County Community Food Bank
via Creative Commons.

For my blog post today, I’m sharing a recent post I wrote for One Green Planet, a website dedicated to ethical choices. Here’s an excerpt from “3 Tips for Helping Raise Kids to Serve”:

“It is always unnerving to me when I meet middle and upper middle class teenagers who don’t feel a sense of responsibility or a desire to improve the world, help the poor, protect the vulnerable (whether human or nonhuman), make humane choices, or be of service to others. Our culture today seems to foster a sense of entitlement that I find damaging not only to our world, but to our children whose lives are diminished by a focus too intent upon the self.

So how does one foster a service ethic and sense of responsibility toward others among children? Waiting until the teen years is often too late. Service should begin very early on.”

Read the complete post.

For a humane world,

Zoe Weil, President, Institute for Humane Education
Author of Most Good, Least Harm, Above All, Be Kind, and The Power and Promise of Humane Education
My TEDx talk: “The World Becomes What You Teach

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Making Choices About Charitable Giving

A New York Times essay on giving asks where we should be spending our charitable dollars. While charitable giving increased a bit in 2010, according to Giving USA donations to organizations that address “basic human needs fell 6.6 percent.” While the author does not specify exactly where the giving has increased, she mentions that those with the deepest pockets and foundations with assets in the billions make different kinds of donations: “building museums to house their art collections; underwriting new wings in hospitals or halls named for them at their alma maters; using their money and influence to sway public policy and influence political campaigns; or seeking to solve problems in distant lands rather than in their own backyards.” It’s hard not to hear the judgment in the author’s voice. The take home message from the article is that our priority should be to give to Americans who don’t have homes and/or enough food to eat.

While the article includes a couple of quotes from those who challenge the either/or that the author sets up at the beginning of the essay between what she refers to as “checkbook philanthropy” (apparently a term used disdainfully) and what Doris Buffett (Warren Buffett’s sister) calls “S.O.B. gifts,” (donations that support “symphonies, opera and ballet”), these alternative perspectives are few and far between. Although she quotes Melissa Milburn from the Gates Foundation as saying, “We’re trying to move upstream to a systems level to either prevent family homelessness before it happens or to end it as soon as possible after it happens,” the article doesn’t delve into systems change work.

Given the greater need during a recession, it’s a tough call for philanthropists. Individuals need help, but the more individuals in need, the greater the challenge. When my son was nine and I took him to Boston for a couple of days, we passed a homeless man begging at the entrance to the T. I walked right by, inured to street begging from my years growing up in New York City and then living in Philadelphia, Boston, and Washington, DC. My son, however, had grown up in rural Maine, and while there is significant poverty here, he had rarely seen anyone living on the street; and he’d never seen me walk by without helping. He was horrified and furious with me for not helping this man. So we promised each other we would never walk by someone in need without helping. And he kept his promise for many years. Whenever we were in cities and he saw people begging, he gave money. But then one year, when he was 14, we were in Rome for a couple of days. There was simply no way to give to everyone in need. He had to make choices. Did the person have children or pets with them? Did they seem able to work? Did some of their clothes look new and pricey? Were they drinking or smoking? These were terribly difficult choices for him, filled with judgments about people he didn’t know, but as his Euros ran out, there had to be some criteria or else he wouldn’t give to anyone.

My son, now 18, is quite generous. Since eighth grade he has given 10% of his income (not profits) from his jewelry business and his summer jobs to charity. Which charity? I’m honored that he’s chosen the organization I co-founded, the Institute for Humane Education. He insists that this has nothing to do with supporting his mom’s work, but rather an assessment of the best place to donate his charitable dollars: he wants his money to work on systemic change. He wants to see the biggest “bang for his buck” in terms of solving problems. He believes that humane education (which he’s experienced himself) is an excellent strategy for creating real change that makes a difference.

We all have choices to make about our charitable giving. How will we go about making those choices? I know that for me, supporting the local food pantry and individuals in need is important. So is supporting the arts in my community. But these will always comprise a smaller portion of my giving than donations to create systemic change, because I want to give where I have the greatest capacity to create lasting change that benefits all.

The New York Times article sets up a false either/or that fails to deeply explore the challenge of giving strategically and in a balanced way; that might, for example, call more forcefully for local and federal government programs and aid to those in need so that philanthropists can spark social businesses and non-profit ideas for system-wide efforts that are not necessarily the role of governments. Judgment doesn’t serve this effort of finding ways to solve our challenges through philanthropy and giving; new ideas do.

For a humane world,

Zoe Weil, President, Institute for Humane Education
Author of Most Good, Least Harm, Above All, Be Kind, and The Power and Promise of Humane Education
My TEDx talk: “The World Becomes What You Teach

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Affluence and Affluenza

The film and book, Affluenza, explores the mostly modern condition of relentless consumerism, debt, yearning for more, dissatisfaction and sluggishness, and a treadmill life that leaves people feeling empty and stressed simultaneously. In our recent Summer Institute for teachers, high school English teacher, Mark McGonagle, came up with an activity that explored affluenza through a quiz for students whose score determined whether or not they “suffered” from this condition.

A question arose. Is affluence the same as affluenza? The answer is clearly “no,” yet there is sometimes a subtle (and often a not so subtle) judgment by social justice and environmental activists against those who are affluent. It’s true enough that most who are affluent are bigger consumers than those who aren’t. They have larger houses filled with more stuff, more vehicles (and motorboats and sometimes private jets), travel for leisure more often, and so on, contributing to greater environmental destruction than those who do not have these luxuries. They certainly appear to suffer from affluenza. Yet, it’s critical not to lump affluence with affluenza. Having money can be a phenomenal tool for change, and I know people with money who are profoundly generous, live simply, and create substantial systemic change through their donations to social change organizations. This could and perhaps should be the model for affluence.

Most people want to be more affluent, and most want money to buy more stuff. What if we were to transform the image of affluence? Imagine if money were perceived less as a vehicle for luxury and more as a vehicle for the power to create positive change. If we identified those affluent people who have eschewed personal luxury in favor of a deep and abiding commitment to use their wealth for systemic good, we would have models for “compassionate consumerism” that went beyond fair trade, eco-friendly, cruelty-free products and that embraced thrift and simplicity coupled with generosity and philanthropy for a better world for all.

Zoe Weil, President, Institute for Humane Education
Author of Most Good, Least Harm, Above All, Be Kind, and The Power and Promise of Humane Education
My TEDx talk: “The World Becomes What You Teach

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My Failure to Live By the MOGO Principle on Flight 35

This past weekend I had a long trip ahead of me to Seattle for Green Fest. Although thrilled by the opportunity to speak on the main stage about humane education, I was dreading the travel. In the best case scenario, I would have a 17 hour trip, with three separate flights and a five-hour layover in Boston. Plus I was stuck in a middle seat across the country.

When, about an hour from Portland, Oregon, a flight attendant asked if there were any medical personnel on board, I didn’t think much of it. I’ve been on lots of flights when this question has been asked, and it’s never been a big emergency. This time, however, it was. A man a few seats behind me had had a heart attack. Within minutes, he was laid in the aisle as two doctors tried valiantly to save him with CPR and oxygen. For 25 minutes they worked, shouting things as he flat-lined, contorting themselves in the aisle and standing on seats and armrests to position themselves properly during a choppy flight.

We made an emergency landing in eastern Washington, and the EMTs came on board and dragged the man down the aisle and off the plane on a cloth stretcher, but when I spoke to the doctor who was performing CPR on him (a cardiac anesthesiologist), he said that the man wasn’t going to make it.

And while we were a quiet group of passengers who didn’t interfere, intervene, or get riled up ourselves, we were also strangely unengaged. I talked to the two men on either side of me about what was happening, but as I felt tears ready to stream down my face, I quickly suppressed them. That a man was dying in our midst and the best we could do was sit quietly, was surreal. And even as I felt helpless and horrified, I also felt myself focusing selfishly on the delay in the flight and worried that I wouldn’t make it to Seattle that night. And then I found myself horrified that I could even be thinking about that while a man lay dying.

When I missed my connecting flight – the last to Seattle that night – I did my utmost to ensure that I got in line quickly to get a hotel, and took a seat at the front of the hotel van so that I could get in line quickly for a room at the hotel desk. I had a long weekend of tabling and speaking ahead of me, and I knew I’d be sleep-deprived enough without waiting in a long line for a bed for the night. The New Yorker in me came out in no time. And indeed, I was near the front of the line, and, it turned out, the last to be able to check into that particular hotel. The doctor who had worked to save this man’s life was one of many who would be transferred by the van to another hotel to wait in another line, only to awaken in a few short hours to continue his trip for a conference in Vancouver. I never even thought to let him take my spot. I regret that. I regret my lack of generosity. Oh, I had my big emotional reaction, sobbing the next morning as I thought about this man’s death, but I couldn’t even muster enough gratitude for this doctor’s efforts to give him a room sooner the night before. Granted I, too, had a big day and weekend ahead of me, but really. He had tried to save a man’s life, while I sat quietly in my seat following instructions.

So now on my flight back home, I’m doing a bit of soul-searching. I’m thinking of the MOGO principle – to do the most good and the least harm to myself, other people, animals, and the environment – a principle I try to live by. I put myself ahead of everyone else when I disembarked that night; I did not live by a principle I profess to hold dear.

Zoe Weil, President, Institute for Humane Education
Author of Most Good, Least Harm, Above All, Be Kind: Raising a Humane Child in Challenging Times, and The Power and Promise of Humane Education
My TEDx talk: “The World Becomes What You Teach

Image courtesy of sylvar via Creative Commons.

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Enter to Win an IHE Course & Help Create a Better World

I’m not in the habit of using our blog as a venue for fundraising, but this is annual appeal time at the Institute for Humane Education (IHE), and IHE is offering 5 vouchers for its popular month-long online courses in 2011.

Anyone donating $20 or more before December 11 will be automatically entered to win one of the vouchers.

People consistently describe these courses as life-changing, whether they are individuals taking A Better World, A Meaningful Life, teachers taking Teaching for a Positive Future, or parents taking Raising a Humane Child.

Here’s the 2011 schedule for our online courses. I hope you’ll want to help IHE and enter to win a free course!

2011 Online Course Schedule:

A Better World, A Meaningful Life
Jan. 3-28
Sept. 12-Oct. 7
Put your vision for a better world & a more joyful, examined life into practice.

Teaching for a Positive Future:
Feb. 7-March 4
July 11-Aug. 5
Oct. 17-Nov. 11
Inspire your students to become leaders & changemakers for a healthy, peaceful, sustainable world for all.

Raising a Humane Child:
April 4-29
Learn the strategies & skills you need to parent more mindfully and intentionally & help your child be a joyful, caring citizen in a humane world.

Please help IHE create a more humane, peaceful and sustainable world. DONATE NOW.

Thanks for your support,

Zoe Weil, President
Institute for Humane Education

The Joy of Generosity

In “Kindness of a Stranger That Still Resonates” we read about the legacy of Samuel Stone, aka B. Virdot, who anonymously gave away modest amounts of money during the Great Depression to people in need who wrote him letters about their financial troubles and described how they would use the funds.

My guess is that Samuel Stone experienced great joy in helping his neighbors in Canton, Ohio, during those bleak years. And I imagine that maintaining his anonymity, and hence the purity of his generosity, only increased that joy.

Here’s a MOGO tip for the day: try doing something generous today and do it anonymously. See how it feels. Let me know how it went, if you have a chance.

Zoe Weil
Author of Most Good, Least Harm and Above All, Be Kind

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My Overflowing Garden

Last weekend I faced the reality of my garden. I had food enough to feed a village, at least if the menu was zucchini and cucumbers. My husband and I gathered boxes and baskets, and after several back breaking trips filled his car to take them to the food pantry after offering some to his coworkers.

How had I allowed this to happen? Why had I tended my garden, weeded and watered, put in so many hours, just to grow food I would never eat? My family doesn’t even like zucchini! Cucumbers are always good for pickles if you can’t eat them all fresh, but I’d already made 18 jars, and enough is enough. We gathered several more overstuffed bags of cucumbers growing monstrously large even after pickling those 18 jars a few weeks ago.

I think the reason I grew so much this year was because last year the garden was a fiasco. After just as much care and tending and hours weeding, the tomatoes got some sort of fungus, as did the potatoes; the corn crop was destroyed by an animal in a single night; the brussells sprouts never amounted to more than little bumps; the squash vines died from squash beetles, and my dog ate the asparagus as fast as it poked through the ground. I was determined that this year would be different. I planted zucchini not because I like it, but because zucchini grows no matter what, and I just wanted to produce food, even if that included food that I don’t much enjoy. And boy was it the year for food. This hot summer produced the biggest bounty ever, including a beet bigger than my head (but which I’ll thoroughly enjoy in a borscht extravanganza).

What lesson did I learn? I hope I learned to stop planting foods I do not eat, but I suspect I’ll forget this lesson. Oh, I learned it for next summer, but there will always be years of lack, and I’ll likely respond to those summers the way I did this year. And then I’ll put in hours of time gathering food to give away to others. I guess that’s not so bad. Maybe it’s even MOGO.

Zoe Weil, author of Most Good, Least Harm

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In Memory of Terri Warm

Last year I was doing a book tour for Most Good, Least Harm in the mid-Atlantic states, and I was invited to do a presentation in New Jersey at the home of a wonderful activist who invited the community into her living room to hear me speak and put me up in her lovely guest room. One of the attendees was Terri Warm. Terri’s name fit her perfectly. She was one of the kindest, warmest people I’d ever met.

Because my host had to leave earlier than I the next morning, Terri offered to come over with breakfast. I didn’t know when she made this offer that she had just undergone a chemo treatment the day before. The next morning, Terri arrived with a feast – a warm, home-cooked breakfast, fresh fruit, juice, and good cheer. Terri was in her early 50s but she looked no older than 40. She shared her story with me, about her ill health in her early thirties and the assumption of doctors that she was a hypochondriac. At thirty-five, so sick she was admitted into the hospital, she was finally diagnosed. She had stage four cancer. The doctors told Terri to invite anyone she wanted to visit, and everyone was allowed to ignore visiting hours. They didn’t think she’d ever walk out of that hospital.

Terri surprised everyone. She not only walked out of the hospital, she went into complete remission for years. Her stage four cancer came back twice, and the second time she beat it again. The third time, when I met her, was disappointing for Terri, but she was optimistic that she would survive her cancer once again and had a phenomenal attitude about her challenging treatment. I, too, felt confident that Terri would live to be an old lady.

Sadly, I just learned that Terri Warm passed away a month ago. Although I’d met Terri only this one time, I wept. What a loss. Terri was a role model for me: an awesome activist, a generous and kind person to all, and someone who savored every breath, every gift that life brings, and believed in the good in people. She was positive, resilient, and beautiful in every way. The world needs more Terri Warms. I know that I will try to embody those qualities I saw in her. I hope that others will, too.

Thank you Terri for all that you did in your too-short, but so fruitful life. Your legacy will endure.

Zoe Weil

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