How to Help Our Children Make the World a Better Place

Image courtesy of Fabio Medda.

For my blog post today, I’m sharing a recent post I wrote for Care2.com, an online community for people passionate about creating a better world. Here’s an excerpt from “How to Help Our Children Make the World a Better Place”:

“We all know what compassion feels like, and what kindness looks like. We know when we empathy, and we are aware when we are kind to another person or animal. We also know how kindness feels when we are its recipient. But what does it mean to be kind within a globalized economy? What does it mean to be kind in relation to our food, clothing, product, career, transportation, and dwelling choices, and in relation to the economic, production, agricultural, energy and other systems in society?

The most ostensibly kind teenager in a high school may be complicit in horrendous cruelty and exploitation and shocking levels of environmental degradation when she sits down to eat in the school cafeteria or when she buys a new electronic device or pair of athletic shoes. But how would she know?

Fostering good character in a globalized world necessitates an education that extends the best qualities we seek to foster in our children beyond the classroom walls, beyond the local community, and beyond our nation’s borders.”

Read the complete essay.

For a humane world,

Zoe Weil, President, Institute for Humane Education
Author of Most Good, Least Harm, Above All, Be Kind, and The Power and Promise of Humane Education
My TEDx talk: “The World Becomes What You Teach

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Reflections on Irene: Cultivating Our Inner Compass

In the days leading up to Irene, and during the two days the storm traveled up the eastern coast of the U.S., I happened to be doing a lot of driving. I brought my son back to his school in Massachusetts and then took a trip to the easternmost county in Maine. All told I spent about 18 hours in the car over three days. Because I have satellite radio in my car, I have lots of news options. I spent most of the time listening to CNN, Fox News, and NPR, following the reports of Hurricane (later Tropical Storm) Irene.

I watched myself being manipulated by the media, which preyed on fear and fed a lust for voyeurism. As it became clear that Irene was not going to be as bad as predicted – at least not in the east coast’s major metropolitan areas – I found myself simultaneously relieved and vaguely… disappointed. That I felt disappointed at all shocked me, until I tried to deconstruct what was happening to me. It’s as if the media had turned Irene into a blockbuster movie, and now the movie lacked excitement. I was conflating entertainment’s adrenalin rush with reality, a reality that was, fortunately, much better than it could have been.

My own mother lives in a 7th floor apartment in New York City. How could I feel anything but relief that her power remained on throughout the storm and that she was safe and secure? When I contacted my son, in the direct line of Irene in Western Massachusetts, to ask how the storm was, he said it was pathetic. Even he was looking forward to something bigger and scarier and more impressive than the wind and rain that knocked power out for only 3 hours. Only later, when he saw the devastation in Brattleboro, Vermont, only 20 minutes from him, did he realize how lucky he was.

Listening to newscasters desperately trying to hype up what was happening, to get passersby to make things sound worse, reminded me of the creepy curiosity that causes most of us to slow to observe an accident, not because we plan to stop and help, but out of some yucky fascination that represents our basest selves.

Noticing how easily we are manipulated, how quickly we can lose our sense of perspective and clarity and even inner morality is important. Finding our compass is a critical component to remaining clear-headed when media (and other) manipulations threaten to erode our values, beliefs, and even our integrity. Maintaining an inner eye that watches our own emotional lability, that observes our response to manipulations, that reminds us to use our critical thinking skills and nurture our best qualities – especially during emergencies – may be the best way to ensure that we have the tools and level-headedness to confront not only apparent crises, but the pervasive problems that should appear as crises (e.g., global warming) but which do not.

Cultivating that inner compass often demands perseverance on our part. We need to expose ourselves to many views lest we be manipulated; we must continually challenge ourselves to learn more and seek out accurate information. We must remain vigilant to the power of brainwashing and recognize our own susceptibility to opinion disguised as fact.

Be vigilant. The world needs your good mind and big heart intact.

For a humane world,

Zoe Weil, President, Institute for Humane Education
Author of Most Good, Least Harm, Above All, Be Kind, and The Power and Promise of Humane Education
My TEDx talk: “The World Becomes What You Teach

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When What’s MOGO Is Looking Within

My husband is a big Bob Dylan fan, so for our anniversary I bought us front row seats to a Dylan concert in Bangor, Maine. It was exciting to have such great seats, so close to the stage and with an unobstructed view. But when the concert finally began with Leon Russell opening the show, the woman next to us chose to stand and dance, blocking our and many others’ view of the stage. My husband and I were able to lean forward and peer around her, but others behind us couldn’t. And so after the set, a woman behind us asked a staff member to ask her to sit once Dylan started playing.

But when Dylan came out, she stood up and never sat back down. Even when she wasn’t dancing, she stood. In a crowd of thousands, she was the only one. The woman behind me asked if I would tell her to sit down, but I didn’t feel comfortable doing so. My husband, however, was really irritated, and even though he’s normally an easy-going man, he asked her if she would please sit down. She refused. And so we spent the entirety of the concert leaning as far forward as we could to see around her. At least we could do that, since we were in the front row. People in the rows behind us didn’t have that option.

Now, I’m a dancer. In fact, I often find going to concerts difficult because when I hear music I want to dance. With singers like Dylan – who are more folk than dance musicians – it’s easier to sit and listen; but more often than not I gravitate to dance concerts rather than sit-down concerts. So I know how it feels to want to get up and move when music is playing. What I don’t understand, however, is the kind of narcissism that compels someone to ignore everyone else’s wishes; to think one’s own personal pleasure justifies wrecking other people’s experiences; to believe that it’s okay to prevent others from even seeing the artist whom they paid quite a lot of money to enjoy.

I spent quite a bit of time during the concert pondering the MOGO (most good) thing to do. Would any good come from trying to talk to this woman? Would I be able to speak to her compassionately and respectfully when what I felt toward her was a combination of indignation, anger, and disgust? I wondered how she became this way. She was dressed to the nines in a slinky black dress with 5-inch spiked heals, a jaunty hat, and bright red lipstick. She often danced erotically, appearing to relish being seen and admired. She knew she was blocking people’s view and knew others were upset, but she didn’t care. What was it like to be her?

I never did say anything to this woman. My feelings toward her were unremittingly hostile, and even though I knew better, I found myself wishing bad things for her. All that did was further impact my own ability to enjoy the concert. In the end, what seemed MOGO was to focus on the music and practice letting go of my own anger and irritation, to better myself rather than focusing on bettering her.

Still, was there anything I or anyone could have said that would have made a difference for either her or those of us whose view of the stage was blocked?

For a humane world,

Zoe Weil, President, Institute for Humane Education
Author of Most Good, Least Harm, Above All, Be Kind, and The Power and Promise of Humane Education
My TEDx talk: “The World Becomes What You Teach

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Do You Tune Out or Tune In to Atrocities?

Zoe’s been busy with speaking & traveling and didn’t have time to write a blog post for today, so here’s a repost from 11/19/10. Enjoy!

I’ve always been struck by people saying that they don’t want to know about a particular atrocity or cruelty or problem in the world. It’s not uncommon to hear this from adults (though rarely from youth). I think the motivation to avoid new knowledge stems from people’s desire to live with integrity. That might sound like an odd statement, but if you learn something that calls into question choices you make, and you really don’t want to change, then you’ll be faced with the unpleasant experience of living without integrity. Better not to know. Ignorance is bliss after all.

But I’m struck by this head-in-the-sand behavior because it’s foreign to me. I’ve always wanted to know. Even if I am unready or unwilling to make a different choice, I’d rather know and live with my discomfort than not know. I’d rather have the opportunity to live more closely aligned with my values.

Over time, though, I’m beginning to understand the disinclination to know. I do get tired of all the bad news, of learning about more problems, of facing my own lack of integrity. This fatigue is helping me understand those people who say, “Don’t tell me about _______. I don’t want to know.” And understanding is a good thing. It helps me build bridges and offer smaller invitations. It helps me teach more wisely and carefully and inspire baby steps toward knowing. It keeps me from being self-righteous, and helps me maintain some humility.

Still, even when I get tired, I know there’s no other path for me. Maybe I’ll take a brief respite from the myriad books and videos that expose me to the grave and horrible problems in the world, but not for long. There’s work to do, and I don’t know how else to live with myself or to live in this imperfect world that needs our good work.

What about you?

Zoe Weil, President, Institute for Humane Education
Author of Most Good, Least Harm, Above All, Be Kind, and The Power and Promise of Humane Education
My TEDx talk: “The World Becomes What You Teach

Image courtesy of Identity Photogr@phy via Creative Commons.

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Filling the Bathtub One Drop at a Time: Small Choices Matter

I came upon this quote by Gil Fronsdal some time ago and tucked it away in a list of quotes I keep:

“Just as drops of water will eventually fill a bathtub, so the accumulation of small choices shapes who we are.”

It’s easy to dismiss the power of small choices. In the scheme of things, what difference does it make if you use a disposable bag at the supermarket or buy a cup of non-organic, non-fair trade, non-shade grown coffee in a Styrofoam cup, or eat a hamburger or chicken leg, or buy a new cell phone? No number of compact fluorescent light bulbs is going to save the world, and with all the problems we face, it’s easy to decide that our every day choices don’t much matter.

And really, if all a conscientious, compassionate person were to do was focus on small everyday choices to ensure they were as MOGO (most good) as possible, the good that would come from this might well pale in comparison to the work of an inventor who creates a solution to an entrenched systemic problem, or an activist who changes a system, or a lawmaker who bans a type of cruelty, even if that inventor or activist or lawmaker made a host of less-than-MOGO small choices each and every day.

Which is why I’m always advocating a both-and approach to changemaking: model your message by making conscious and caring personal choices AND work for systemic change. But Fronsdal’s quote struck me as a new lens with which to view the power of our every day choices. The accumulation of our small choices, how we treat others each and every day (others being not simply those with whom we interact personally, but also those people and animals whose lives we affect through our daily food, clothing, and product choices) adds up. These are the choices that largely define who we become over a lifetime. They matter.

So let’s try to remember each drop of water we are adding to the bathtub that comprises our life and choose it with respect and kindness.

Zoe Weil, President, Institute for Humane Education
Author of Most Good, Least Harm, Above All, Be Kind, and The Power and Promise of Humane Education
My TEDx talk: “The World Becomes What You Teach

Image courtesy of missmoney via Creative Commons.

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Humane Educators’ Toolbox: 12 Angry Men

I watched the classic film, 12 Angry Men, recently, and I was struck by the ways in which the film so accurately depicts what social psychology experiments reveal about people’s willingness to suspend their own thinking faculties to go along with the group [in particular, the Asch experiments, in which individuals deny their own senses to agree with the majority, demonstrating the lengths (no pun intended) to which people will go to conform].

In the movie, had one man’s commitment to integrity and reason not prevailed, another man, reasonably likely to have been innocent of the crime he was charged with, would have been electrocuted. It is not a surprise that only one man of twelve was willing to step out on the proverbial limb in a group vote in which he was the only dissenter, nor is it a surprise that some went along with the prevailing view without much thought – easily swayed and influenced.

We all know these characters. We all know people whose beliefs can be too easily altered by new ideas; others whose beliefs are so entrenched that reason and rationality cannot sway them; others who stand out as extremely clear-headed and models of critical thinking; others who don’t care enough to be bothered to think very hard for themselves and will follow the crowd no matter what; others whose deep emotional needs and pain influence their ability to think rationally. And most of us realize that there is a little bit of each of such characters in ourselves.

The challenge for each of us, I believe, is to strive to be like the character played by Henry Fonda, a man committed to truth and aware that truth is often elusive; a man unafraid of speaking his truth even when it differs from others; someone whose heart and mind work together toward a goal of integrity and honesty; a person whose mind is not so open his “brain falls out,” but who exemplifies open-mindedness.

This film is an excellent tool for any critical thinking or criminal justice course, as well as for a course in American History. Though fiction, it offers much food for thought and discussion. As a supplement to the social psychology films at the Heroic Imagination Project website, 12 Angry Men offers humane educators – those who wish to ensure that their students have the knowledge, tools, and motivation to be solutionaries for a just, compassionate world – an excellent opportunity to use film and culture to explore issues of character and choicemaking.

Zoe Weil, President, Institute for Humane Education
Author of Most Good, Least Harm, Above All, Be Kind, and The Power and Promise of Humane Education
My TEDx talk: “The World Becomes What You Teach

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Humane Education & Star Trek: Envisioning a Better World for All: My Interview on Conversations with Maine

I’m delighted to share my interview with Frank Ferrel, host of Conversations With Maine, which recently aired on the Maine Public Broadcasting Network. We talked about humane education, the MOGO Principle, my family, Star Trek, the work that I do on behalf of the Institute for Humane Education, and the challenges and joys of making choices that do the most good and least harm for all:

If you enjoy this interview and think it’s valuable, please share it with others so that they can learn more about humane education and the power in the choices that we all have to create a better world. I welcome your comments, as well.

Zoe Weil, President, Institute for Humane Education
Author of Most Good, Least Harm and Above All, Be Kind: Raising a Humane Child in Challenging Times
My TEDx talk: “The World Becomes What You Teach

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Words Do Hurt…And Help

There are two powerful and important videos circulating on YouTube produced by youth. The first is a brave and moving film from a vulnerable 8th grader who confronts her bullying by sharing it with us with a plea for awareness that words hurt:


The second is a beautiful, powerful, and loving response from a 20-year-old who reaches out:

What’s revealed in these two, short videos is the power of words to both harm and heal and the power of communicating to make a difference. As these films go viral, which I’m sure they will, I expect that we’ll begin to see the power of this medium not simply to inform, but to transform, in ways that our bullying prevention programs have yet to accomplish.

Thanks Alye and Erika.

Zoe Weil, President, Institute for Humane Education
Author of Most Good, Least Harm and Above All, Be Kind: Raising a Humane Child in Challenging Times
My TEDx talk: “The World Becomes What You Teach

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Dexter Chapin’s Master Teachers

I recently read Dexter Chapin’s excellent book, Master Teachers: Making a Difference on the Edge of Chaos and underlined more passages than I had in any book in years. For my blog today, I wanted to share some of them.

“Nothing the federal government, the state government, or the school district does will improve education and schooling nearly as much as recognizing the impact and magic created by a master teacher connecting with students.”

“What really sets teachers apart are two traits. The first is that teachers are idealists. To a person, they believe the world can be a better place and they, all by themselves, can make a difference, and, perhaps, a big difference.”

“Everybody has moments of success, but teachers see it every time the kids’ eyes light up when they see and understand something never seen and never understood before.”

“By the time he retires, every good teacher has hundreds of heirs. Perhaps this is the best reason to teach. Teachers dream a better world and have a capacity to achieve that dream not for just one generation but certainly two and possibly three generations.”

“The good teacher needs student questions the way a thirsty person needs water. And no matter where the question leads, the master teacher can bring it back to where the students have to go.”

“Teachers are political animals. The decisions they make about what knowledge to include in their class is an intensely political act. This fact cannot be avoided because not choosing is an equally political act. College professors have the partial protection of tenure, but most K-12 teachers do not. Safety for many teachers lies in mediocrity, where the definition of mediocrity is what most people do most of the time. However, master teachers do have a safety net or protection that is not available to mediocre teachers, the trust of their students. Master teachers have compassion; the ability to meet students where they are. Over time, compassion breeds trust. Over time, trust allows the teacher to shake the students’ knowledge base to its foundations, while the students make a conscious effort to protect the teacher.”

“Integrity and empathy are the beginnings of a foundation for lifelong learning. Therefore the goal of the master teacher must be to increase both in students.”

“The flow of information from the teacher to the student dwarfs the flow from the student to the teacher. The measure of success is regurgitation. Can the student give back what was given? Yes? No? Success? Failure?…. It is a trivial system indeed that returns an input as output with no change. How trivial are we going to make education and our students?”

“Optimistic teachers are confident that the world can be changed. However, they do not believe that only they have the power to change the world. They trust their students. Therefore, their role is not that of a blacksmith hammering a piece into shape, but rather a gardener encouraging growth…. A second trait of optimistic teachers is the belief that they have never peaked as a teacher. What happened in their class yesterday can be improved on. It has never been as good as it might be. They are constantly looking for other ways to do things, to broaden the experience, to enrich the information sources, and to tailor the structure and function for the class to meet student needs and interests.”

“While we rush, rather thoughtlessly, to copy the rote memorization techniques that enable kids in Asia and elsewhere to score so well on standardized tests, the education ministries in Japan, China, and India are frantically dispatching minions into the field, exhorting teachers to ‘teach in a more American fashion,’ in order to stop squelching the creativity, imagination, and argumentative confidence that we encourage (or used to encourage) so well.”

“Part of the art of teaching is to be able to read the students as they come through the door… To make our lives easier, I built a eudemony meter for the classroom. Eudemony is a measure of general well-being. The meter consisted of an open pine cabinet with a layer of cork in the back with a seven-inch circle inscribed. At the base of the cabinet were five containers of push pins; green, blue, clear, yellow, and red. The cabinet was situated so I could not see the color pin the student put into the cork on entering the class. Before I started class, I would look at the pattern in the target and knew immediately what I was dealing with. Some days I could go for broke and some days I couldn’t. Some days, I just abandoned the lesson plan, and did something else entirely because it was really green or really red…. In those instances where I had a single red at the start of class for two or three days running, the students always made sure I knew who was having a bad time. They never did it outright; it was always in code, but they made sure I knew. The student in question was always grateful.”

“A necessary basis for students feeling safe is the presence of rules that are held inviolate. The rule that leaps to mind is the golden rule, ‘Do unto others…’ The trouble is that this rule is meaningless to precisely those students who have the greatest tendency to create social havoc. They are bullies who have ‘already been done to’ and see the world as being a place where you do first before it can be done to you. A better rule might be, ‘You can say, or do, anything provided it is true, kind, and useful (it gets us down the road to where we want to be).’”

“Competition between students has a bad aroma with some teachers…. However, done appropriately so that one person, group, or team does not metaphorically score ten runs in the first inning, it can generate very positive outcomes…. the competitive situation should have the following characteristics:
• It must be limited to a specific situation, assignment, or time, and not generalized across the context.
• The ‘rules’ must be the same for all players but the outcomes may be different.
• There must be multiple, limited competitions between variable groups.
• The competitive situation should always be novel and unpredictable.
• And finally, the competition must always remain a game and be fun.”

“… there are two questions to be asked. The first question is, if we gave any one of the high stakes tests such as the SAT, ACT, or NCLB mandated state tests to a thousand congressmen, CEOs, artists, or military officers, would a significant portion be embarrassed by their performance? Which raises the second question, what does a successful person need to know, and how and where can each person learn it? The answers to these last questions should drive a national organization of teachers. Forget the rest of it. If we can get this in front of the nation, everything else will follow.”

“Please do not even try to be a teacher if you do not have all of the attributes of character: integrity tempered by empathy, intelligence tempered by awe, risk-taking tempered by common sense, independence tempered by the desire to serve, and most important, self-confidence tempered by self-knowledge. Even with all the attributes, please do not start or continue on the journey just because it is possible. Start or continue on the journey because it is what you have to do, almost a calling.”

“In a completely rational society, the best of us would be teachers and the rest of us would have to settle for something less because passing civilization along from one generation to the next ought to be the highest honor and highest responsibility anyone could have.”

With hope for schools filled with master teachers like Dexter Chapin,

Zoe Weil, President, Institute for Humane Education
Author of Most Good, Least Harm, Above All, Be Kind, and The Power and Promise of Humane Education
My TEDx talk: “The World Becomes What You Teach

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Dive Into Darkness to Uncover the Light

I love December. Amidst the festivities, the sparkling lights and candles to brighten the darkest month, the singing and celebrating, the craft fairs and concerts, the spirit of generosity (albeit too commercialized, but that’s another blog post), the gatherings with friends and family, there is also another opportunity I relish: the opportunity to dive into myself and reflect upon the year that has passed and the new one before me.

At the Institute for Humane Education, January is when we offer our online course, A Better World, A Meaningful Life, based on my book Most Good, Least Harm. We offer this course in January because it’s a perfect way to begin a new year, providing, as it does, the opportunity to reflect upon one’s deepest values, build community with others who want to align their choices and lives more deeply with what is most important to them, and start the year by putting intentions into action. It takes New Year’s resolutions and grounds them in practice.

In the dark of winter, such a course is a wonderful opportunity to introspect, to inquire about what is most important to us and make our goals real in order to live with greater integrity and purpose. We know many people who not only decide to take this course themselves, but give it as a holiday gift to a friend or family member, creating the chance to share themselves, their values, their vision and their dreams with someone they love.

Here’s to the joyful, meaningful lives we can create for ourselves and the humane and healthy world we can build together. Happy holidays!

Zoe Weil, President, Institute for Humane Education
Author of Most Good, Least Harm: A Simple Principle for a Better World and Meaningful Life

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