Saying Yes to No Regrets

Image courtesy of ancient history
via Creative Commons.

Sometimes I regret the things I do. Far more often I regret the things I don’t do. And so I’ve encouraged myself to say yes to things, even when I think my proverbial plate is full.

I used to have a rule about traveling for work: no more than one week per month; more than that and I would start to feel overwhelmed. But since my first TEDx talk came out two years ago, I’ve been invited to speak in various and far flung places far more frequently than once a month. I do still have my limits, but I’ve stretched them and have found that as long as I stay in the present moment and don’t think ahead (or go over in my mind how many different cities I’ll be in each month), I do fine.

And I try to do the same at home, too, by saying yes to opportunities to adventure more, connect more, and experience more. But when evening rolls around and I’m warm and cozy next to my husband on the couch, it takes a lot to rouse me to adventure. And so in a subtle way I say no quite often. I live at the Institute for Humane Education, which is situated on 28 acres on Patten Bay in coastal Maine. It takes only 10 minutes to walk to the ocean, but I seldom venture out at night, except in summer, even though that’s when I’m most likely to see wildlife, hear owls, and have the chance to marvel at the stars and glimpse a meteor.

Tonight, after dinner, my husband noticed just how bright it was outside. Yesterday was our first snowfall of the season. The full moon was rising and the house cast a shadow on the white snow. I knew this was a night I had to say yes to.

So picture this: every fairy tale, every children’s picture book of woods and meadows under a moonlit night; a world that looks as if diamond dust were strewn upon every inch so that each step becomes a kaleidoscope of sparkles; shadows so distinct that you could cut them out like paper dolls; deep snow, tiring to traverse, the effort keeping you warm on the cold night; the path in the woods, normally wide, now a maze from laden branches bowed down; ducking under spruce boughs so heavy with snow they form caves and igloos; coming back upon the meadow on the return and having it feel like a sports arena at night, blazed with light.

Now imagine how you would feel on such a walk on a moonlit night in winter.

Saying yes to opportunities and adventures, as well as to the discomfort and effort such yeses often bring, is my way of saying yes to awe, love, joy, purpose, and ultimately life. It’s my way of ensuring I live with few regrets.

~ Zoe

Zoe Weil, President, Institute for Humane Education
Author of Most Good, Least Harm, Above All, Be Kind, and The Power and Promise of Humane Education
My TEDxConejo talk: “Solutionaries”
My TEDxDirigo talk: “The World Becomes What You Teach
My TEDxYouth@BFS “Educating for Freedom”

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A Better World, A Meaningful Life – A Transformative Online Course

In September, October, and November, the Institute for Humane Education, will be offering its 4-week online course, A Better World, A Meaningful Life. For my blog post today I wanted to share just some of what participants have written about this inspiring and life-changing course.

People often wonder how an online course, without in-person contact with fellow participants and the instructor, can be so very meaningful and transformative. The combination of daily exercises and activities (about 30-60 minutes/day for 5 days each week), and an online forum to discuss the experiences with fellow participants around the globe at your leisure simply works.

Here’s what a few participants have said:

“This class has been life changing. It has given me more to think about than what I can probably digest in a year. Hopefully it will be a lifetime pursuit. I have promised myself that I will continue to research, consider and challenge myself to be more MOGO every day. This class has prompted me to get off my complacent derrière and be more active. I have also been convinced that if I add amazing, important things to my life (volunteerism, activism…) it will not add to my feeling overwhelmed, but it will actually bring centeredness and vitality.” ~ Deb Kingston

“THANK YOU!! I am a happier, more balanced, and more fulfilled person than a month ago, and I feel that this is just the beginning!”~ Estela Diaz Carmona

“I have learned so much from everyone in this course! I have learned that sharing knowledge is so powerful and when you share with others instead of keeping your knowledge to yourself you have no idea what impact you may have on others. I am grateful to have been a part of a community of sharing and respect through this course.” ~Jen Baille

“It has changed the way I think, definitely. I feel kinder, a deeper humanity towards everyone. I’m more aware of issues and what I can do to benefit people, animals and the environment, in the everyday choices I make. It has had a massive effect on me. Fantastic. The exercises, the organisation of the course, online support/course advisers were all excellent. I would wholeheartedly recommend it.” ~ Lee Anne Chapman

“Thank you all for a wonderful experience…..how fortunate we all are to have a lively, learned, compassionate discussion with open hearts and minds. It is too rare. It fills me up! Thank you for all you’ve taught me!”~ Courtney Lowery

Learn more and register for an upcoming session.

Zoe Weil, President, Institute for Humane Education
Author of Most Good, Least Harm, Above All, Be Kind, and The Power and Promise of Humane Education
My TEDx talk: “The World Becomes What You Teach

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My Favorite Part of Traveling

I love traveling, even though I’m well aware of the carbon footprint I leave when I fly far from home. Traveling is one of my less-than-MOGO (most good) choices, although I do try to minimize my impact, stay in eco-friendly places, and take some comfort knowing that I am positively affecting those who rely on tourism for their livelihoods. Where I live near Acadia National Park I’m reminded all the time that, without tourism, many of my friends and neighbors would have little income, so I try to be a “good traveler” when I leave Maine and support local economies even as I leave my own for awhile.

I went on vacation to Belize a few weeks ago, because for years I’ve wanted to explore the coral reefs to see the incredible undersea life that abounds there. What I didn’t expect, or plan for, was the amazing day I spent with two Mayan brothers in a jungle preserve.

I had half a day and an evening after I left the small atoll island where I’d stayed for 5 days before my flight home, and I decided to head to a somewhat remote national park where there was a single lodge that housed those who wished to explore this beautiful jungle and its myriad waterfalls. I was the only visitor, and the cook was ill, so when I arrived, the only people at the lodge were two young Mayan men, the lodge caretakers.

I spent the afternoon hiking up to the waterfalls with one of them. I asked lots of questions about his life, and he introduced me to lots of edible jungle plants, while asking questions about my life. When we returned to the lodge, his brother told us that the power was out, so we spent a couple of hours that evening talking by candlelight, eating the nuts and papaya I brought to share and talking about our lives. Although I had spent a week reveling in the eye candy of the coral reefs, this day and night may well have been the highlight of my trip.

In the end, my favorite part about traveling is usually not the great sights, the ruins, the flora and fauna, or learning about the history of another place, but rather truly connecting with other people and learning from and sharing with them. This is when I usually laugh, and sometimes cry, and always grow the most. I make new friends and feel like I am giving back a part of myself after all I’ve received.

Zoe Weil
Author of Most Good, Least Harm and Above All, Be Kind

Image courtesy of tacogirl via Creative Commons.

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