Grass is One Hundred Colors

For my blog post today, I wanted to share a poem I wrote about grass and lawns:

Grass is one hundred colors
(silvers and golds,
pinks and purples,
yellows and coppers,
greens and grays and blues).

It hides a million creatures
And smells of reverie,
Sways like a symphony,
And bends into beds for deer.

It contains unnameable sorrows
And uncountable joys.
And all around this earth
People turn these fertile dreams into lawns,
Monotonous and sterile,
Try to contain the mystery
Lest its exuberance
Make them wish for more.

Zoe Weil, President, Institute for Humane Education
Author of Most Good, Least Harm, Above All, Be Kind, and The Power and Promise of Humane Education
My TEDx talk: “The World Becomes What You Teach

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A Brief, Gorgeous Present

In July, I wrote about my intention to get a tattoo, and on August 22, I found myself in a tattoo parlor with my 18-year-old son, watching a Star Trek episode on my laptop in order to endure the hour of pain as I did something so utterly and bizarrely out of character. As I’ve pondered for two weeks about what I wanted to write about the experience on my blog, I found that I would either need to write a chapter-length account, or just share a poem. I’ve chosen the latter, my ode to my new tattoo.

They say you become more of who you are as you age
(neural pathways so deeply etched it would take a deluge to shift them),
and boy is that true
as I try not to react to every trigger
even faster than the last.

So how can I explain a big tattoo on my back?
Me, of all people,
who swore I’d never,
ever,
get a tattoo.

Me with a coward’s tolerance to pain
(who can moan and complain about a paper cut and has to hum audibly when getting a shot)
under the gun for a godawful hour
to stain my skin
with a permanent mark

of transformation (there’s the rub)

A luna moth has alit on my spine,
a spine that caused me no end of grief for thirty years,
and then mysteriously stopped hurting;

A luna moth,
caterpillar dissolving into genetic goo
to emerge completely changed,
a reminder that this DNA does not mean
we’re stuck forever in our ever deepening ruts;

A luna moth who lives for one week,
(only to mate and reproduce, without even a digestive tract);
just joy and beauty for a brief, gorgeous present.

Imagine that.
A brief, gorgeous present
permanently etched on my back.

Zoe Weil, President, Institute for Humane Education
Author of Most Good, Least Harm, Above All, Be Kind, and The Power and Promise of Humane Education
My TEDx talk: “The World Becomes What You Teach”

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The Day We Buried Grif

We buried our beloved dog, Griffin, Sunday, July 10, and I wrote this poem in his honor for my blog post today.

The Day We Buried Grif
by Zoe Weil

We buried our dog this morning
In heavy clay soil.
He was light on the earth
a tiny three-legged boy
still so soft,
though no longer fierce.

We remembered him aloud,
sharing stories,
His love affair with our big three-legged shepherd;
our son’s biggest scar
when he tried to prevent him from biting friends
who’d stopped by and were chased back
to their car
by pugilistic Grif.

He likes that scar.
He loved that dog.
Whom he’d rescued at two and a half
Saying in no uncertain terms to his reluctant parents,
“We HAVE to adopt him,”
and we did.

Fifteen plus years together;
our son’s whole childhood,
the photos in the albums like proof,
one after another:
Griffin in his arms;
Griffin and he floating on a raft;
Griffin in his lap;
Griffin on his bed.
Always with Griffin,
the dog he saved.

Grif is in the earth beside Sophie, next to Maia,
flanked by Uba, Buddha, Pere, and Mish,
marking the inexorable passage of time,
marking years of love,
of joyous puppy and kittenhood,
and the solid decade each of companionship and devotion,
and then arthritis and kidney failure and decline
and their inevitable deaths.

Meanwhile, three others wait in the house,
banished from this burial.
Elsie, two;
Ruby, eight;
Sir Simon, thirteen.
The cycle continues.
Loving them a bit more tenderly today;
The day we buried Grif.

Seven Ducklings and the Peace of Wild Things

This morning as I walked by our pond, I saw a Mallard with her seven newly hatched ducklings. I kept my dogs under control as we walked past the pond while the mother duck quickly gathered the babies to keep them safe from us predators. I was ambivalent about seeing this family of ducks on our pond. I love seeing them, love the fast-swimming, sweet-chirping, fuzzy little ducklings, but I have watched too many be killed at our pond by crows and other wildlife. Ours is not a particularly safe pond for ducklings. Year after year I observe their numbers decline as the days go by. One year, a mother duck lost every single duckling in the space of three days. I wondered about her, whether she was a young mother, inexperienced in protecting her babies, unwise in her choice of ponds. Did she have better luck in succeeding years? How did she cope with her terrible loss?

I often recite this poem, Wendell Berry’s “The Peace of Wild Things,” to soothe myself when life is particularly challenging.

When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought of grief.
I come into the presence of still water,
and I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting for their light.
For a time I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.

The line, “I come into the peace of wild things who do not tax their lives with forethought of grief” has been both balm and occasional curative for my worried mind, but today I had to wonder. Does this Mallard mother truly live in the present moment? Is she never taxed by forethought of grief? She is a vigilant mother, always attentive and ready to steer her young to safety. Perhaps she does indeed anticipate the terrors that lurk around her, and worry and fret for her children’s lives, as Wendell Berry does. Perhaps it is only our wishful thinking that there is a way to truly live free of such anxiety and fear.

Still, I try to accept what I cannot change and release unhelpful worry. I try to have faith that whatever comes in life I will have the capacity to endure it and maintain some modicum of equanimity and composure and never lose my integrity or courage. And still, I, like Berry, return again and again to what feels like the peace of wild things, whether or not it is truly peaceful for them. And, like Berry, it is in that grace that I, too, find a taste of freedom.

Zoe Weil
Author of Most Good, Least Harm, Above All, Be Kind, and So, You Love Animals

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