Look Beyond Either/Or to the Both-And

Posted on April 18, 2011 by zoeweil

I’m swamped with our new graduate programs right now, so here’s a repost from 7/20/09 that I hope you’ll enjoy.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the ways in which we humans seem to gravitate towards “either/or” choices. Either we protect Northern Spotted Owls or people’s logging jobs. Either we invade Iraq or not. Either we pull the troops out or stay. There are more. Either we trust our minds or hearts. Either we are Christian or Muslim. Either we are Republican or Democrat.

Yes, there are people who want to protect owls and jobs, think beyond either/ors and work creatively to come up with the wisest choices in Iraq, trust both their minds and hearts, see the connections between all religions, and consider themselves Independents. But it seems to me such people are the minority.

Among activists, the either/ors are sometimes cast starkly: either someone (or some company or industry) is good or evil. The CEO of Altria (formerly Philip Morris), of Exxon-Mobil, of Monsanto –- they must be evil, while the CEO of Working Assets/CREDO must be good.

It’s just not this simple. But complexity is, well, complex. Commitment to seeing both-ands instead of either/ors demands more from us. It may at first even appear wishy-washy, as if you’ve lost your passion and your commitment if you don’t immediately “take sides.” It shouldn’t. Instead, a commitment to both-and is a commitment to problem-solving at the deepest level. A realization that people have the capacity for dangerous, unwise, unhealthy choices, as well as compassionate, kind, and brilliant choices means that we can try to influence the former, rather than call people names and divide the population into us and thems.

There will be many times when taking sides is exactly what you need to do, but let’s not let side-taking become a knee-jerk reaction to everything that is presented to us in either/or terms. You’ll find either/ors everywhere. Listen for them. And then see if you can determine a more nuanced both-and…and a solution that works for all.

Zoe Weil, President, Institute for Humane Education
Author of Most Good, Least Harm and Above All, Be Kind: Raising a Humane Child in Challenging Times
My TEDx talk: “The World Becomes What You Teach“

Like my blog? Please share it with others, comment, and/or subscribe to the RSS feed.

Filed under: critical thinking, third side thinking | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Comments Off

Look Beyond Either/Or to the Both-And

Posted on July 20, 2009 by zoeweil

I’ve been thinking a lot about the ways in which we humans seem to gravitate towards “either/or” choices. Either we protect Northern Spotted Owls or people’s logging jobs. Either we invade Iraq or not. Either we pull the troops out or stay. There are more. Either we trust our minds or hearts. Either we are Christian or Muslim. Either we are Republican or Democrat.

Yes, there are people who want to protect owls and jobs, think beyond either/ors and work creatively to come up with the wisest choices in Iraq, trust both their minds and hearts, see the connections between all religions, and consider themselves Independents. But it seems to me such people are the minority.

Among activists, the either/ors are sometimes cast starkly: either someone (or some company or industry) is good or evil. The CEO of Altria (formerly Philip Morris), of Exxon-Mobil, of Monsanto –- they must be evil, while the CEO of Working Assets/CREDO must be good.

It’s just not this simple. But complexity is, well, complex. Commitment to seeing both-ands instead of either/ors demands more from us. It may at first even appear wishy-washy, as if you’ve lost your passion and your commitment if you don’t immediately “take sides.” It shouldn’t. Instead, a commitment to both-and is a commitment to problem-solving at the deepest level. A realization that people have the capacity for dangerous, unwise, unhealthy choices, as well as compassionate, kind, and brilliant choices means that we can try to influence the former, rather than call people names and divide the population into us and thems.

There will be many times when taking sides is exactly what you need to do, but let’s not let side-taking become a knee-jerk reaction to everything that is presented to us in either/or terms. You’ll find either/ors everywhere. Listen for them. And then see if you can determine a more nuanced both-and…and a solution that works for all.

~ Zoe

Filed under: critical thinking, third side thinking | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Comments Off

Tweenbots: Another Sign of Hope for Humanity

Posted on April 15, 2009 by zoeweil

One of the graduates of our Humane Education Certificate Program sent me this link to Tweenbots. Take a look.

Recently, I’ve found myself absorbed in thinking about the Milgram Experiments, conducted in the 1960s at Yale University, in which ordinary men and women were willing to administer electric shocks – up to 450 volts – to a fellow participant in a study on learning (or so they thought; the test was really about obedience to authority, and no shocks were actually administered). Prior to the study, 14 senior Yale psychology students were asked what percentage of people they thought would administer the maximum voltage. The average of their guesses was 1.2%. This was far, far different from what transpired. In the experiments, nearly two thirds of participants were willing to administer the maximum voltage, thinking they were harming — and possibly killing — their compatriot. Even psychology students, less than 20 years after the Holocaust, could not predict humanity’s enormous capacity for harm and cruelty.

Then along comes something as simple as Tweenbots, and I’m reminded of humanity’s equally great capacity for kindness – even kindness to a robot.

If only we could crack this nut – figure out what forces conspire to lead us to acts of altruism, heroism, and simple kindness and what ignites such events as the genocide in Rwanda, or the everyday exploitation of millions of people who are enslaved around the world.

As a humane educator, I believe that if we give youth the knowledge, tools, and motivation to be positive choicemakers and changemakers for good, then we will shift societal systems that are cruel and destructive towards ones that are healthy and sustainable. This is an act of faith. When I teach courses, I make sure that my students learn about the Milgram and Stanford Prison Experiments. I want them to understand what we humans – and they themselves – are capable of, so they can shield against such obedience to systems that are designed to be destructive or cruel. I also teach them about acts of goodness and about changemakers who make a profound difference in the world.

But now I will add the Tweenbots – not because this little experiment reveals the best in us, but because it demonstrates very ordinary kindness and desire to be helpful, when it matters not a whit, yet still inspires our care. And because it’s a light and joyful little example of simple virtue, and makes us each a little more likely – I hope – to do good.

~ Zoe

Image copyright Kacie Kinzer.

Filed under: changemakers, compassion, systemic change, values | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off

Happy New Year! Make a Positive Difference

Posted on January 4, 2008 by zoeweil

2008 written in the sandOne of the students in our Master of Education program at IHE sent a group email on New Year’s Eve. In it she implored her “beautiful friends” to “start with switching off the light, talking more to your neighbors, loving deeper your partner, creating less suffering to animals in farms and circus chains, making organic dinners for your friends, volunteering for an hour a week for local kids….” She went on to say, “there is so much joy one can create in the world.” Her message was so heartfelt, so impassioned, so direct, yet I doubt any among her recipients felt defensive. This is what we need to tell our friends, our children, our students, our neighbors, and ourselves.

If you want to lose weight this year, do so. If you want to start exercising, great. If you want to stop smoking, wonderful. But please, in 2008 make a positive difference in the world, too.

~ Zoe

Filed under: MOGO (Most Good) | Tagged: , , | Comments Off

Winter Solstice

Posted on December 26, 2007 by zoeweil

Hands holding glowing candle.It was Solstice just the other day, the darkest time of the year in the northern hemisphere, but also the time when longer days resume, a strange conflation of darkness and coming light.
I have just returned from an emergency visit to my father-in-law. A couple days ago, doctors told my husband that his 92-year-old father was in kidney failure and had just days to live. Today, he is clamoring to get out of bed (and doing so), reading the newspaper, and heartily eating. Life is unpredictable. As is death.

We live in dark times. Or do we? There’s no doubt that we face dangers unprecedented in human history. The ice caps are melting. Species are disappearing faster than we can identify them. Human slavery is on the rise. Resources are dwindling. Institutionalized animal cruelty causes tens of billions of sentient animals to suffer horribly. All true. All dark.

But just as my father-in-law defied the dire predictions this week, so too may the challenges we face be met not with catastrophe, but with positive change and creativity. I believe that our personal challenge is to meet the dark with our own light – our wisdom, our compassion, our courage, and our commitment, and thereby transform the perils we face into opportunities.

As the year turns and as the light returns, may you bring forth your light to this world that needs you so.

~ Zoe

Filed under: MOGO (Most Good) | Tagged: , | 1 Comment »

Witnessing the Power of Humane Education

Posted on December 17, 2007 by zoeweil

Students working in a classroom.Last week I offered a mini humane education course for a class of 6th and 7th graders. I taught the students for 90 minutes each morning, weaving together the themes of critical thinking and compassionate choice-making in an effort to help free these students from the influences of advertising, peer imperatives, and desires that eclipse their deepest values, as well as to invite their conscious commitment to examining their lives and creating a better world.

Although I spent many years teaching young people (reaching about 10,000 students annually), I no longer visit classrooms much because I spend my days writing and training adults to be humane educators at IHE. Teaching this 6/7th grade last week was not only a treat, it was a reminder of the incredible power of humane education to raise awareness and ignite dedication to a thoughtful life.

The students’ last homework assignment was to each complete a personal MOGO plan that outlined their intentions for how to incorporate what they’d learned into daily choices, future effort at learning, and involvement in actions that lead to substantive changes in the world . On our last day, they shared their commitments. One after another they talked about what they planned to do – simple things like wearing a sweater in the house in winter and keeping the heat down, not throwing their relatively clean clothes in the laundry, eating less meat. They also talked about more involved actions, too, like joining groups dedicated to solving entrenched problems. Every single child shared something he or she was going to do to make the world better, and every child listened attentively to the others. It was beautiful.

Perhaps the most exciting moment came when I asked the students a question about my book, Claude and Medea, which they had read in school. I had urged them, from the first class to the last, to question both me and any information or statistics they would hear or read. I also urged them to express their opinions openly, because all would be respected, whether they were part of the majority or a single voice that disagreed. Many students comfortably let me know that they didn’t think that Claude and Medea’s dangerous and illegal rescue of stolen and abused dogs was the right thing to do. You might think I was disappointed that so many thought that my protagonists had behaved wrongly, rather than just heroically, but I was absolutely delighted. They had absorbed one of my most important points: think for yourself.

When I left after the last class, I was a bit teary. Several students had rushed up to hand me the kinds of thank you cards that make teachers realize that their work matters. But more than that, I was filled with a rare sense of deep optimism. Imagine if all students were offered humane education, given the tools to think for themselves, the inspiration to make a difference, and the knowledge to make good choices. Imagine the problems they would solve and the world they would create. The sooner humane education becomes ubiquitous, the sooner such a healed world will unfold.

~ Zoe

Image courtesy of Sleestak66.

Filed under: humane education | Tagged: , , , | 2 Comments »

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 438 other followers